Self Care and Weight Gain

Are you gaining weight?  I heard from one of our comadres the other day via  Facebook, and she cried out “Help!  ¡Ayúdame!  I’ve put on a bunch of weight and it’s really stressing me out.  I can’t stand it anymore when I look in the mirror!  What am I going to do?”

It was a plea like the ones from the vintage Mexican lonely-hearts comic book, ¡Ayúdame, Doctora Corazón! Only Doctora Corazón helped mend broken hearts.

Our Hearts are Broken

But our hearts are broken, aren’t they? These crises we are living through are some of the worse times we will ever experience in our lifetimes.  COVID19 is destroying the lives of thousands of our Native, Latino and Black brothers and sisters all over our land.

Health disparities have come home to roost and it’s a pesadilla of mammoth proportions. Black Lives Matter are taking it to the streets and to our screens. This pandemic is a public health crisis, but racism is a public health crisis too and they have converged.

We hit the boiling point, hermanas.  These are hard and distressing times, and many of us are comforting ourselves and our families with food, which is completely understandable. We are consuming fritangas, chatarra, and chicharrones, as if our life depended on it.  As if we had no other choice.

And who can blame you?  Aren’t you taking care of a bunch of people right now, Super-Mujer?  I bet you are!  I bet you are bringing home the frijoles, cooking them and serving them up to a multi-generational montón de gente, and to top it all off, you aren’t even getting your nails or  hair done.

I speak from experience.  You should see my Covid hair! ¡Dios me salve, María!  And you know as well as I do that I do not look distinguished, okay?  That is a bunch of Malarkey como dice el Tío Joe.  I look like I’m 69 years old!  (Oh wait!  I’m 69 years old!)

But here’s the deal.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, because at my age I get to repeat myself:  Los chicharrones son muy traicioneros!  They will turn on you like a bad boyfriend. No matter how simpaticos they look next to your Michelada, they are not your friend.  De vez en cuando, like at your cousin’s wedding pos-boda, they’re okay.  Delicious! Go for it!  ¡Aviéntate! But getting into the habit of overeating in the time of COVID is probably not going to make things better.

Let’s be honest. Are you giving up dieting?

(That’s a trick question. I want the answer to be, “yes.”)

Change Can Happen

During disruptive times like these, sometimes good things happen. Like Uber, there can be a disruptive technology. Change can happen.  So maybe women will finally give up dieting.  Maybe women like you and me, old and young, abuelas, tías, hijas, comadres, hermanas y madrinas will just say.  “Ya basta con las dietas, ”and start taking care of ourselves in the true sense of the word.

The Importance of Self Care

We have been doing a lot of  Self Care content on De Las Mías lately because we know how stressful these times are and how many responsibilities you have. Latinas are the hub of our families, remember?  We are the sun of the solar system we call familia.  Don’t be in denial about that, hermanas!  You know who you are!  You know that you are working full time, taking care of your mama, and your kids and your Viejo, who refuses to be controlled by you, and your sobrino is dropping out of high school, and you dread for his life.  You know these “truths to be self-evident.”

But what if in the midst of this DESMADRE, there is a dawning of a new age and I don’t mean Aquarius?  What if the dawning of a new age comes down to Latinas actually engaging in Self Care?  What if women like you and me would consider Self Care more seriously than having our hair and nails done?  What if Self Care means more than shopping for cute clothes, eating in front of the TV, or going out for a socially distancing happy hour with the girls?

My Hope For You and Me

My hope is that Self Care for you and me will mean that we take care of our bodies, our minds and our spirits, that we treat ourselves to good, healthy food, that we celebrate con muchas ganas, without being reckless with ourselves, that we move our glorious bodies and feel joy instead of a sense of duty. That we go back to dancing for the fun of it,  biking down tree-lined avenues like when we were girls or going out for nature walks with our  families.  What if those of us who survived this pandemic, took this crisis and turned it into an opportunity to become truly strong, healthy, and, yes, CHINGONAS?  What if we develop the ovaries and the confidence to demand we get paid what we’re worth? What if we stopped believing what the mass consumer market tells us about who we are, what we should look like and how much we should weigh? What if we start claiming our worth?

So, let’s send diets packing and claim our power to be strong and healthy, and yes, PODEROSAS.  Let’s tell the truth when we say, “We are strong.  We are healthy. We are Latinas.”

At De Las Mías being a Healthy Latina is all about being body positive, food positive and culture positive. We don’t reject our food, our culture or our body to live a healthier life. We embrace the whole paquete and find the healthy path.

To become healthier and more powerful, más fregonas, we need to build a life of healthy habits. And that’s one of the areas we want to focus on:

Build daily healthy habits. 

Ours is not a faster path to skinny jeans. We want to change poquito por poquito, and build up our healthy habits over time. 

Ditch the Diet Culture and Stop Dieting

We are not a diet club because diets don’t work. But, we want to help you crack the healthy weight code. It’s no secret that we all want to feel attractive, guapas, and be healthy and strong. But here’s a novel idea: STOP DIETING.

The way to crack the healthy weight code is to STOP DIETING. I know you don’t believe me so read on…

“Would you take a medicine that was proven ineffective 95 percent of the time? That’s the failure rate of most traditional diets.” That’s what Rebecca Scritchfield, a registered dietician and author tells us in her book, Body Kindness.

Think about that, Mujer! We spend billions of dollars a year on diets that don’t work.

So here’s the magic formula that is going to crack the code: First, stop dieting. Then, mix one part self-love and self-acceptance, and one part make small healthy changes over time. This will build the life-long habits that will turn you into a Super Mujer. That’s it!

Habits are the building blocks of life. 

How Habits Tie into Our Identity

I came across some interesting work by James Clear, author of the New York Times Bestseller, Atomic Habits. He has some insights on habits and he ties habits with identity. 

The basic premise he explains is that in order to change habits, you need to “embody” the new behavior. In order for it to turn it into a habit, it needs to become a part of your identity. Make it part of who you are and how you express yourself.  

This made perfect sense to me…I remembered many years ago, when my friend and creative writing mentor, Miriam Sagan, gave me some very good advice about being a writer. 

I was just beginning my life as a short story writer and I told her I was worried that I would never become a writer because I would never get published. And this is what she said to me, “Honey, a writer is not someone who gets published. A writer is someone who writes.”

At first, I didn’t get it. “I’m not sure what you mean,” I said.

She said, “The way to become a writer is to do what a writer does. That’s it. If you want to become a writer, write.”

The second explanation made more sense to me and I have called myself a writer ever since. And yes, I have had lots of my work published, but publishing didn’t make me a writer. Writing made me a writer. I first had to own my identity as a writer and then do what a writer does.

My daughter is another good example of this. Sada is a dancer. Her identity is wrapped up in being a dancer. She dances. When she doesn’t dance, she doesn’t feel like herself. And that is because she is not doing what a dancer does. A dancer dances.

A cyclists cycles. A cook cooks. A mother mothers. Get the picture?

The Healthy Latina Identity

Now, let’s talk about our identity as Latinas. What do you do as a Latina that makes you a Latina? Think about it. I am sure you can come up with a few examples. ¿Cómo te latinas? How do you Latinize yourself?

Now let’s jump to a Healthy Latina identity. I call myself a Healthy Latina. That is part of who I am and what I do. Am I at the “ideal weight” according to the BMI charts? Nope. Do I eat donuts? Yup. De vez en cuando. Do I love me a good bizcochito once in a while? ¡Absolutamente! Con un cafectio por favor.

Donuts and bizcochitos notwithstanding, the way I embody my identity as a Healthy Latina is by what I do on a daily basis. Every day, I eat fruits and veggies. I bike. I walk. I get my sleep. I drink my water. Those habits are all part of what makes me a Healthy Latina. Do I do this all the time? No. But I can tell you that these are my healthy habits that help me own my identity as a Healthy Latina.

A word of caution about labels and identity: There is so much research out there that points to the health problems that we Latinas and Latinx face. These health problems are real, but it is not, nor should it be, part of our identity. For example, having diabetes doesn’t make you “A Diabetic.” You have diabetes, you are a person with diabetes but you, my dear, are not A Diabetic.  

We can be Healthy Latinas. We can claim that identity for ourselves and do what Healthy Latinas do.

Choose how you want to identify yourself and own it. Embody your identity and don’t let anyone pin a label on you that you don’t want. 

What makes you a Healthy Latina? 

Tell me. Start practicing those healthy habits now. Start small. Build Up. Poquito por poquito. 

References: 

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

Book by James Clear

October 2018

Penguin Random House

Body Kindness: Transform Your Health from the Inside Out–and Never Say Diet Again

Book by Rebecca Scritchfield

December 2016

Workman Publishing