Category: Healthy Body

class=”healthy-body”;

Being an active Latina means expressing our love for our bodies through the joy of movement. Move your body to inspire other positive changes in your life. Enjoy plenty of fun and easy workouts to feel strong, healthy and fregona!

Healthy Body, Healthy Comadres

Stress Management and Traditional Latina Remedios

manton

 

Stress Management Latina Style 

We come from a rich Indo-Hispano tradition of adversity, cultural clashes, magical spirituality and wisdom. We carry this mixed bag passed down by our grandmothers, madrinas, tías and mothers. It’s in our blood and in our soul. We hand it down to the next generation through our DNA, our traditions, memories, stories and practices.  But did you ever think of these remedios as stress management tools?

As we take a deeper dive into the negative effects of stress in our lives, and we become more immersed in the science of chronic stress and its effects on our health, we can also dig deep into how our abuelas and great-grandmothers endured and thrived in spite of their adversity. They may not have been calling it that, but those tips, tricks and yes, even brujerías, were the original stress management tools!

Two concepts come to mind when thinking of stress management in Latino cultures. One is Aguantar and the other is Remedios. One is better than the other.

 Aguantar is one of those words that has much more meaning in Spanish than in English. In English it means to put up with, to endure. But for generations, we Latinas have been conditioned to not just endure, but to be silent about it. That “Calladita me veo más bonita” type of endurance. Aguantar goes with silence and that goes hand in hand with “sucking it up” for the sake of others. You’ve seen it in your mothers, tías and abuelas, that stoic dignity that comes from suffering – from grinning and bearing it.

I loved attending the #WeAllGrow Latina Summit last year and seeing droves of young Latinas pass by ¡Calladitas No More! banners, some even taking selfies by this 3-word manifesto: Silent No More!

Latinas are learning and growing and taking back our health, our power and our joy. As always, and like good Latinas, we do this not just for ourselves, but also for our familias. And that is a very good Latina tradition that we vow to pass down.

The other concept that comes to mind as we explore this multigenerational link of Aguantar el Estrés, is the concept of Remedios.

All things have a dark and light side and to me, the light side of Aguantar is the magic and power of our Remedios. The Remedy!

Remedios carries with them the magic of healing, of miracles, of hopeful expectancy. I went on a Búsqueda of Remedios that can help with stress management and here are a few that I found in my own Remedios Tool Box: 

1. El Santuario. The Sanctuary.

You may associate the word sanctuary with a church, such as El Sanctuario de Chimayó in beautiful Northern New Mexico, but you can make your own little sanctuario in your home or garden. Claim a little corner somewhere in your home or garden.  When you make this special sacred place, you can use it as an intentional remedio to help you cope with stress. Your bedroom works well for a sanctuario because often, it is the most private place in a home.

  • Start by claiming it as a special place where you can go for a quiet moment.
  • Place a few objects there that have meaning for you. A picture of your dad if that inspires strength, or a picture of your mom, if she inspires faith.
  • Place a picture or statue of your favorite Santito, or Our Lady of Guadalupe, a rosary, or whatever holds sacred value or a positive memory.  
  • Choose a candle that you will light only when you are in the room and place it securely on a flame proof base. (Twice, I almost burned the house down.)
  • Add some flowers. A bowl of holy water, or a bowl of water that you have blessed yourself.
  • Spend a few minutes with your sanctuario every day or acknowledge it when you pass by.

Use this sacred space to let go of your stress, worry and fear. Practice this and little by little you might find some magical refuge.

2. Sanctuary Creative Visualization

Another sanctuary practice that is lovely and has given me comfort in hard times is to do a deep relaxation exercise and add a creative visualization. Imagine a special place in your mind’s eye where you can go to feel comfort and peace. Does a beautiful garden come to mind? Or a special place to go for a sunset? Perhaps you went for a long walk on a beach one day and you felt relaxed and at peace. Take a few minutes and create this special sanctuary in your mind.  Feel peace and refuge there and go back anytime you want.

3. Un Tecito. A little cup of tea.   

Latinas have a long tradition of drinking their tecitos. Té de manzanilla – Chamomile tea is the most common. We even give it to babies to relax! Take a break, brew some tea, sit down and drink it in. As you sip your tea, try to relax and “letigo.”  

Té de tila – Linden tea is popular as a relaxation tea, but you shouldn’t drink it if you are pregnant or have heart disease. If you have any kind of chronic condition, it is always a good idea to ask your doctor if you should drink té de tila.  

Another favorite is té de azar – which is orange blossom tea. Té de azar was the classic tea given to young ladies when they were nervous before the big dance. Life is a big dance, sometimes, Comadres, so fortify yourselves.

Any kind of herbal tea will do. There are some great teas, like Sleepy Time, that will do the trick

3. La Limpia. The Cleanse.

Limpia has different meanings to different folks. Most would agree that a limpia is a cleanse. You might want to ask your abuelas and madrinas what they have used to do a limpia, or if they ever did one at all. Not all Latinas practice this tradition, but the basic limpia that I do is simply get some good sage and burn a little in a metal or ceramic bowl. It’s nice to offer it to the four directions, face each direction and let the smoke go over your head. After you smudge, you could put a few lemon drops in a cup of water in spray bottle and spray the room. This is a simple ritual that could help you feel more relaxed after an argument, after a guest leaves your house if she or he stressed you out, or you feel tension or unpleasantness in the room and you want to “clear the air.”  The important quality to try to achieve is to intentionally let go of tension, stress, and malas vibras.

4. La veladora. The blessed votive.    

We love our candles, but we have to be careful. Did I tell you I have almost burned down the house twice?! So fair warning, comadres! But there are some wonderful veladoras out there. Te prendo una veladora always means I will light a candle to help make your wish come true. So use your veladoras, wisely. I burn mine in the fireplace now, so there is no chance that I will cause a fire except the one that is burning in my passionate heart. We love the classic Virgen de Guadalupe votives.

5. El Bubble Bath.  

I’m a Latina and I am a grandmother now, so you can say this one came from an old abuela. I love a good bubble bath. Just take some “me” time, ¡Comadres! Get some bubbles, put on some relaxing music, a do not disturb sign on the bathroom door and chill out! This remedio works wonders if your back aches or you have tired feet from standing all day at work.

 

What are some of your tried and tested remedios? What customs from your culture do you bring to your own stress management?

Healthy Body, Healthy Comadres

Deep Relaxation: How to Be a Healthy y Calmada Super Mujer

manton

The Health Benefits of Deep Relaxation

When we are stressed out, and especially when we have been stressed or worried for a long time, it is important to take care of ourselves and learn ways to cope, such as practicing deep relaxation.  The goal is to keep stress from turning into a health problem. If you read Stress and Cortisol, you now know that there is scientific evidence that the long term effects of cortisol can cause health problems, not to mention las lonjitas (those pesky rolls around the middle). It turns out that getting thick around our middles, developing the lonjita syndrome, is not just a cosmetic problem. There is a link between lonjitas and developing chronic conditions like obesity, prediabetes, diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure.  

Scientists are starting to refer to chronic stress as toxic stress. There is mounting evidence that deep relaxation can help us counter toxic stress and prevent some diseases.

So as time goes by, we will provide you with updated information, tips and tricks on how to counter the negative effects of chronic stress.  

Traditional Forms of Deep Relaxation

Deep relaxation has been around for centuries. Your abuelita probably practiced deep relaxation without knowing it when she prayed the rosary every night before she fell asleep. Praying the rosary has been a Latina ritual for centuries, and now we are starting to find out, that besides feeling closer to the Blessed Mother, Latinas were finding a way, through repetitive prayer, to “letigo.” Letting go is one of the healthiest things you can do if you are under a lot of stress, and there are many ways to do this. Praying the rosary is just one of them.

As our country becomes more culturally diverse, we see men holding prayer beads, and others wearing mala beads around their wrists. In Greece they have worry beads. My friend Julie has some purple amethyst beads to die for! I have an old strand of mala beads that I wear around my left wrist when I am particularly stressed out. For me, they remind me to take deep breaths throughout the day and stop and smell the roses. I also use them to repeat the serenity prayer or if I’m in really dire straits, a bunch of Hail Marys.

Repetitive prayer, like the Hail Mary, the recitation of a mantra, or the Serenity Prayer, helps place you in a relaxed, meditative state. This meditative state is deep relaxation and it helps counter the negative effects of stress.

Some of  us nerviosas, can’t-sit-still types, do the walking meditation technique that we shared a few weeks ago. I have comadres who get a similar benefit from knitting. There are several studies that link knitting to positive health effects, better memory and deep relaxation.

Find your own way of getting into a deep relaxed state at least once a day. There are many good free apps that you can download that will help you meditate, but remember, the goal is the same. Deep relaxation. ¡Namaste, Comadres!

Here is a tried and true technique that I learned many years ago when I worked in a pain management program at the University of Arizona, Southwest Arthritis Center.

  1. Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for at least 15 minutes.
  2. Sit in a chair in a comfortable position, or on the floor with your back against the wall.
  3. Take a deep breath. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Close your eyes and breathe slow deep breaths.
  4. Repeat. Take at least 5 deep breaths and feel your body relax.  
  5. Let go of the tension in your body.
  6. Pay attention to where you feel tense, and go there with your mind and just breathe into it.  
  7. Now start at your feet and pay attention to how they feel. Relax your feet.  Breathe into your feet in your mind’s eye and relax the muscles.
  8. Now go to your calves, breathe, relax, let go of tension in your calves.
  9. Now move up, taking slow deep breaths to your thighs. Relax.
  10. Up to your hips, your waist and chest. Take nice slow breaths and relax.
  11. Keep going up to your neck and move it slightly back and forth in a slow motion until you feel the muscles in your neck relax. Keep up your slow deep breaths.
  12. Now up to your face, your mouth,  your jaw, your nose, eyes and whole head. Tell yourself to let go of all the tension in your body.
  13. Now go back to your back and try to relax your muscles in your back, your buttocks and down the back of your legs, all the way back to your feet.
  14. Take a few more deep breaths.
  15. Stay in this relaxed position for a few more minutes. When you are ready, open your eyes.
  16. Now, slowly get up and go about your day.

There are other ways to go into a deep relaxed state. The Sanctuary Visualization technique is one we shared with you previously in The Vision Map. There are many Creative Visualization techniques that are fun, whimsical and relaxing, but this simple technique is a good place to start.

Do you practice a deep relaxation technique? What works best for you? Share your wisdom with us, Comadres!

I wish you Paz, Comadres. ¡Buena, Suerte!

 

 

Sources:

Benson, Herbert. The Relaxation Response. 2000. Harper Collins

Riley, J., et al. The Benefits of Knitting for Personal and Social Wellbeing in Adulthood. Findings from an International Survey. Journal of Occupational Therapy. February 15, 2013. https://doi.org/10.4276/030802213X13603244419077

Gawain, Shakti. Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life. 2002. Nataraj Publishing.

Healthy Body, Healthy Comadres, Uncategorized

Stress, and How It Can Affect Your Health and Weight

manton

 

Stress and How it Can Affect Your Health and Weight

Stress can affect your health and your weight. To understand more, let’s review a simple definition. Stress is your body’s reaction to change. All change is stressful. Any kind of change that causes your body or mind to react is stress. All of us have stress. We can experience it from any change in our everyday life. You can’t avoid it. Both happy and sad changes can cause us stress. Long-term stress, or chronic stress, however, can be harmful to your health. It can also make it harder for you to get to a healthy weight.

Scientists are beginning to call chronic or long-term stress, Toxic Stress. Dr. Thornburg, Director of The Moore Institute at  Oregon Health Sciences University has this to say: “Toxic stress, also referred to as chronic stress, is frequent or prolonged exposure to adversity. This can take the form of abuse, neglect, exposure to violence, or extreme economic hardship.”

Cortisol, the Stress Hormone

Dr. Thornburg explains that any type of stress causes a number of hormones to be released directly into the bloodstream. In the short-term these hormones help a person cope in response to a perceived threat. One of those hormones that can help a person cope with stress is cortisol. However, he goes on to explain, when a person experiences chronic stress or long term stress, the body produces too much cortisol and for a longer period of time. He compares it to the “body’s alarm button getting stuck in the ‘on’ position.”

Other studies suggest that when levels of cortisol stay high throughout the day, the body has a hard time adjusting. This long-term release of cortisol is linked to gaining weight around your waist. (Las Lonjitas.)  Having this extra weight around our middles puts us at higher risk for chronic conditions, such as diabetes and heart disease. Studies are finding that cortisol may also cause an increase in appetite and cravings. So, it’s not a myth that stress can cause you to want more Cheetos, papitas y chicharrones. 

Okay, that is the bad news, Comadres! But the good news is that the better you are at coping with stress, the better your chances are at protecting yourself from its negative effects.

The first step in solving a problem is to become aware of it. The second step is to make a plan to tackle it!

Take these steps to cope with stress:

  1. Learn to recognize the warning signs of stress. Pay attention to yourself. Ask yourself: “Have there been lots of changes in my life lately?” Are you feeling moody, angry or irritable? Do your muscles feel tight? Clenching your jaw at night when you sleep?  
  2. Have you noticed that you eat for emotional reasons? Ask yourself if you are physically hungry or emotionally hungry?
  3. Eat a healthy diet. Eat more vegetables, lean protein and whole grains.  Check out the De Las Mías 9 Step Eating Plan. And the Daily Checklist on our App! Check those healthy habits ever day! 
  4. Are you craving salty, crunchy, fatty, or sugary foods? Do yourself a favor and take these foods out of your house, desk, car, and/or mattress.  
  5. Keep a food diary or use one of our De Las Mías tools in the app to track your food and moods. Look for patterns. Does your mood affect your food choices?
  6. Get support. Talk to your comadres, friends, sisters or mom about problem solving.
  7. Make a plan. Ask for help. 
  8. Move your body, Muchacha! Go for a walk. Dance up a storm. Have sex.
  9. Get some shut-eye! Sleep is super important. If you aren’t getting good sleep, figure out how you can. Ask for professional help if you need it.  
  10. Keep a journal and write your feelings down. You can get great relief from keeping a diary just like when you were a little girl. Remember? Get yourself a worry box. I have one! If I am worried about something and the worry won’t go away, I write it down and put it into my worry box. It’s easier for me to let it go that way. Try it!  
  11. Learn to practice deep relaxation. Take deep breaths. Do Yoga. Stretch. Pray the rosary. Knit. Crochet. Embroider. These are all good ways to manage stress.

And, Comadres, please, if you feel helpless or hopeless and all your ganas are gone, or if you have been crying or thinking sad thoughts for more than two weeks, please ask for professional help. Go to your comadre, a priest, a pastor or a nun. Seek the help of a counselor, social worker, doctor or nurse. Tell someone, but please don’t suffer alone.  If you ever think of harming yourself or others, call: 1-800-273-8255. En español: 1-800-628-9454

 

Sources:

Thornburg. https://www.ohsu.edu/xd/education/schools/school-of-medicine/departments/the-moore-institute/about/message-from-director.cfm

Torres. Nowson. Relationship between stress, eating behavior, and obesity. Nutrition. 2007 Nov-Dec;23(11-12):887-94. Epub

Harding, et al. Psychosocial stress is positively associated with body mass index gain over 5 years: evidence from the longitudinal AusDiab study.Obesity (Silver Spring). 2014 Jan;22(1):277-86. doi: 10.1002/oby.20423. Epub 2013 Jun 13.

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/stress/index.shtml

Epel ES, et al. Stress and body shape: stress-induced cortisol secretion is consistently greater among women with central fat. Psychosom Med 2000 Sep-Oct;62(5):623-32.

¡Hola, Sabrosa!, Edición No. 5: Stress, English, Healthy Body, Healthy Comadres, Healthy Family

Stress Management and Traditional Latina Remedios

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Stress Management Latina Style 

We come from a rich Indo-Hispano tradition of adversity, cultural clashes, magical spirituality and wisdom. We carry this mixed bag passed down by our grandmothers, madrinas, tías and mothers. It’s in our blood and in our soul. We hand it down to the next generation through our DNA, our traditions, memories, stories and practices.  But did you ever think of these remedios as stress management tools?

As we take a deeper dive into the negative effects of stress in our lives, and we become more immersed in the science of chronic stress and its effects on our health, we can also dig deep into how our abuelas and great-grandmothers endured and thrived in spite of their adversity. They may not have been calling it that, but those tips, tricks and yes, even brujerías, were the original stress management tools!

Two concepts come to mind when thinking of stress management in Latino cultures. One is Aguantar and the other is Remedios. One is better than the other.

 Aguantar is one of those words that has much more meaning in Spanish than in English. In English it means to put up with, to endure. But for generations, we Latinas have been conditioned to not just endure, but to be silent about it. That “Calladita me veo más bonita” type of endurance. Aguantar goes with silence and that goes hand in hand with “sucking it up” for the sake of others. You’ve seen it in your mothers, tías and abuelas, that stoic dignity that comes from suffering – from grinning and bearing it.

I loved attending the #WeAllGrow Latina Summit last year and seeing droves of young Latinas pass by ¡Calladitas No More! banners, some even taking selfies by this 3-word manifesto: Silent No More!

Latinas are learning and growing and taking back our health, our power and our joy. As always, and like good Latinas, we do this not just for ourselves, but also for our familias. And that is a very good Latina tradition that we vow to pass down.

The other concept that comes to mind as we explore this multigenerational link of Aguantar el Estrés, is the concept of Remedios.

All things have a dark and light side and to me, the light side of Aguantar is the magic and power of our Remedios. The Remedy!

Remedios carries with them the magic of healing, of miracles, of hopeful expectancy. I went on a Búsqueda of Remedios that can help with stress management and here are a few that I found in my own Remedios Tool Box: 

1. El Santuario. The Sanctuary.

You may associate the word sanctuary with a church, such as El Sanctuario de Chimayó in beautiful Northern New Mexico, but you can make your own little sanctuario in your home or garden. Claim a little corner somewhere in your home or garden.  When you make this special sacred place, you can use it as an intentional remedio to help you cope with stress. Your bedroom works well for a sanctuario because often, it is the most private place in a home.

  • Start by claiming it as a special place where you can go for a quiet moment.
  • Place a few objects there that have meaning for you. A picture of your dad if that inspires strength, or a picture of your mom, if she inspires faith.
  • Place a picture or statue of your favorite Santito, or Our Lady of Guadalupe, a rosary, or whatever holds sacred value or a positive memory.  
  • Choose a candle that you will light only when you are in the room and place it securely on a flame proof base. (Twice, I almost burned the house down.)
  • Add some flowers. A bowl of holy water, or a bowl of water that you have blessed yourself.
  • Spend a few minutes with your sanctuario every day or acknowledge it when you pass by.

Use this sacred space to let go of your stress, worry and fear. Practice this and little by little you might find some magical refuge.

2. Sanctuary Creative Visualization

Another sanctuary practice that is lovely and has given me comfort in hard times is to do a deep relaxation exercise and add a creative visualization. Imagine a special place in your mind’s eye where you can go to feel comfort and peace. Does a beautiful garden come to mind? Or a special place to go for a sunset? Perhaps you went for a long walk on a beach one day and you felt relaxed and at peace. Take a few minutes and create this special sanctuary in your mind.  Feel peace and refuge there and go back anytime you want.

3. Un Tecito. A little cup of tea.   

Latinas have a long tradition of drinking their tecitos. Té de manzanilla – Chamomile tea is the most common. We even give it to babies to relax! Take a break, brew some tea, sit down and drink it in. As you sip your tea, try to relax and “letigo.”  

Té de tila – Linden tea is popular as a relaxation tea, but you shouldn’t drink it if you are pregnant or have heart disease. If you have any kind of chronic condition, it is always a good idea to ask your doctor if you should drink té de tila.  

Another favorite is té de azar – which is orange blossom tea. Té de azar was the classic tea given to young ladies when they were nervous before the big dance. Life is a big dance, sometimes, Comadres, so fortify yourselves.

Any kind of herbal tea will do. There are some great teas, like Sleepy Time, that will do the trick

3. La Limpia. The Cleanse.

Limpia has different meanings to different folks. Most would agree that a limpia is a cleanse. You might want to ask your abuelas and madrinas what they have used to do a limpia, or if they ever did one at all. Not all Latinas practice this tradition, but the basic limpia that I do is simply get some good sage and burn a little in a metal or ceramic bowl. It’s nice to offer it to the four directions, face each direction and let the smoke go over your head. After you smudge, you could put a few lemon drops in a cup of water in spray bottle and spray the room. This is a simple ritual that could help you feel more relaxed after an argument, after a guest leaves your house if she or he stressed you out, or you feel tension or unpleasantness in the room and you want to “clear the air.”  The important quality to try to achieve is to intentionally let go of tension, stress, and malas vibras.

4. La veladora. The blessed votive.    

We love our candles, but we have to be careful. Did I tell you I have almost burned down the house twice?! So fair warning, comadres! But there are some wonderful veladoras out there. Te prendo una veladora always means I will light a candle to help make your wish come true. So use your veladoras, wisely. I burn mine in the fireplace now, so there is no chance that I will cause a fire except the one that is burning in my passionate heart. We love the classic Virgen de Guadalupe votives.

5. El Bubble Bath.  

I’m a Latina and I am a grandmother now, so you can say this one came from an old abuela. I love a good bubble bath. Just take some “me” time, ¡Comadres! Get some bubbles, put on some relaxing music, a do not disturb sign on the bathroom door and chill out! This remedio works wonders if your back aches or you have tired feet from standing all day at work.

 

What are some of your tried and tested remedios? What customs from your culture do you bring to your own stress management?

¡Hola, Guapa!, Edición No. 5: Stress, English, Healthy Body, Healthy Comadres

Deep Relaxation: How to Be a Healthy y Calmada Super Mujer

shared

The Health Benefits of Deep Relaxation

When we are stressed out, and especially when we have been stressed or worried for a long time, it is important to take care of ourselves and learn ways to cope, such as practicing deep relaxation.  The goal is to keep stress from turning into a health problem. If you read Stress and Cortisol, you now know that there is scientific evidence that the long term effects of cortisol can cause health problems, not to mention las lonjitas (those pesky rolls around the middle). It turns out that getting thick around our middles, developing the lonjita syndrome, is not just a cosmetic problem. There is a link between lonjitas and developing chronic conditions like obesity, prediabetes, diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure.  

Scientists are starting to refer to chronic stress as toxic stress. There is mounting evidence that deep relaxation can help us counter toxic stress and prevent some diseases.

So as time goes by, we will provide you with updated information, tips and tricks on how to counter the negative effects of chronic stress.  

Traditional Forms of Deep Relaxation

Deep relaxation has been around for centuries. Your abuelita probably practiced deep relaxation without knowing it when she prayed the rosary every night before she fell asleep. Praying the rosary has been a Latina ritual for centuries, and now we are starting to find out, that besides feeling closer to the Blessed Mother, Latinas were finding a way, through repetitive prayer, to “letigo.” Letting go is one of the healthiest things you can do if you are under a lot of stress, and there are many ways to do this. Praying the rosary is just one of them.

As our country becomes more culturally diverse, we see men holding prayer beads, and others wearing mala beads around their wrists. In Greece they have worry beads. My friend Julie has some purple amethyst beads to die for! I have an old strand of mala beads that I wear around my left wrist when I am particularly stressed out. For me, they remind me to take deep breaths throughout the day and stop and smell the roses. I also use them to repeat the serenity prayer or if I’m in really dire straits, a bunch of Hail Marys.

Repetitive prayer, like the Hail Mary, the recitation of a mantra, or the Serenity Prayer, helps place you in a relaxed, meditative state. This meditative state is deep relaxation and it helps counter the negative effects of stress.

Some of  us nerviosas, can’t-sit-still types, do the walking meditation technique that we shared a few weeks ago. I have comadres who get a similar benefit from knitting. There are several studies that link knitting to positive health effects, better memory and deep relaxation.

Find your own way of getting into a deep relaxed state at least once a day. There are many good free apps that you can download that will help you meditate, but remember, the goal is the same. Deep relaxation. ¡Namaste, Comadres!

Here is a tried and true technique that I learned many years ago when I worked in a pain management program at the University of Arizona, Southwest Arthritis Center.

  1. Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for at least 15 minutes.
  2. Sit in a chair in a comfortable position, or on the floor with your back against the wall.
  3. Take a deep breath. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Close your eyes and breathe slow deep breaths.
  4. Repeat. Take at least 5 deep breaths and feel your body relax.  
  5. Let go of the tension in your body.
  6. Pay attention to where you feel tense, and go there with your mind and just breathe into it.  
  7. Now start at your feet and pay attention to how they feel. Relax your feet.  Breathe into your feet in your mind’s eye and relax the muscles.
  8. Now go to your calves, breathe, relax, let go of tension in your calves.
  9. Now move up, taking slow deep breaths to your thighs. Relax.
  10. Up to your hips, your waist and chest. Take nice slow breaths and relax.
  11. Keep going up to your neck and move it slightly back and forth in a slow motion until you feel the muscles in your neck relax. Keep up your slow deep breaths.
  12. Now up to your face, your mouth,  your jaw, your nose, eyes and whole head. Tell yourself to let go of all the tension in your body.
  13. Now go back to your back and try to relax your muscles in your back, your buttocks and down the back of your legs, all the way back to your feet.
  14. Take a few more deep breaths.
  15. Stay in this relaxed position for a few more minutes. When you are ready, open your eyes.
  16. Now, slowly get up and go about your day.

There are other ways to go into a deep relaxed state. The Sanctuary Visualization technique is one we shared with you previously in The Vision Map. There are many Creative Visualization techniques that are fun, whimsical and relaxing, but this simple technique is a good place to start.

Do you practice a deep relaxation technique? What works best for you? Share your wisdom with us, Comadres!

I wish you Paz, Comadres. ¡Buena, Suerte!

 

 

Sources:

Benson, Herbert. The Relaxation Response. 2000. Harper Collins

Riley, J., et al. The Benefits of Knitting for Personal and Social Wellbeing in Adulthood. Findings from an International Survey. Journal of Occupational Therapy. February 15, 2013. https://doi.org/10.4276/030802213X13603244419077

Gawain, Shakti. Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life. 2002. Nataraj Publishing.

¡Hola, Guapa!, Edición No. 5: Stress, English, Healthy Body, Healthy Comadres

Stress, and How It Can Affect Your Health and Weight

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Stress and How it Can Affect Your Health and Weight

Stress can affect your health and your weight. To understand more, let’s review a simple definition. Stress is your body’s reaction to change. All change is stressful. Any kind of change that causes your body or mind to react is stress. All of us have stress. We can experience it from any change in our everyday life. You can’t avoid it. Both happy and sad changes can cause us stress. Long-term stress, or chronic stress, however, can be harmful to your health. It can also make it harder for you to get to a healthy weight.

Scientists are beginning to call chronic or long-term stress, Toxic Stress. Dr. Thornburg, Director of The Moore Institute at  Oregon Health Sciences University has this to say: “Toxic stress, also referred to as chronic stress, is frequent or prolonged exposure to adversity. This can take the form of abuse, neglect, exposure to violence, or extreme economic hardship.”

Cortisol, the Stress Hormone

Dr. Thornburg explains that any type of stress causes a number of hormones to be released directly into the bloodstream. In the short-term these hormones help a person cope in response to a perceived threat. One of those hormones that can help a person cope with stress is cortisol. However, he goes on to explain, when a person experiences chronic stress or long term stress, the body produces too much cortisol and for a longer period of time. He compares it to the “body’s alarm button getting stuck in the ‘on’ position.”

Other studies suggest that when levels of cortisol stay high throughout the day, the body has a hard time adjusting. This long-term release of cortisol is linked to gaining weight around your waist. (Las Lonjitas.)  Having this extra weight around our middles puts us at higher risk for chronic conditions, such as diabetes and heart disease. Studies are finding that cortisol may also cause an increase in appetite and cravings. So, it’s not a myth that stress can cause you to want more Cheetos, papitas y chicharrones. 

Okay, that is the bad news, Comadres! But the good news is that the better you are at coping with stress, the better your chances are at protecting yourself from its negative effects.

The first step in solving a problem is to become aware of it. The second step is to make a plan to tackle it!

Take these steps to cope with stress:

  1. Learn to recognize the warning signs of stress. Pay attention to yourself. Ask yourself: “Have there been lots of changes in my life lately?” Are you feeling moody, angry or irritable? Do your muscles feel tight? Clenching your jaw at night when you sleep?  
  2. Have you noticed that you eat for emotional reasons? Ask yourself if you are physically hungry or emotionally hungry?
  3. Eat a healthy diet. Eat more vegetables, lean protein and whole grains.  Check out the De Las Mías 9 Step Eating Plan. And the Daily Checklist on our App! Check those healthy habits ever day! 
  4. Are you craving salty, crunchy, fatty, or sugary foods? Do yourself a favor and take these foods out of your house, desk, car, and/or mattress.  
  5. Keep a food diary or use one of our De Las Mías tools in the app to track your food and moods. Look for patterns. Does your mood affect your food choices?
  6. Get support. Talk to your comadres, friends, sisters or mom about problem solving.
  7. Make a plan. Ask for help. 
  8. Move your body, Muchacha! Go for a walk. Dance up a storm. Have sex.
  9. Get some shut-eye! Sleep is super important. If you aren’t getting good sleep, figure out how you can. Ask for professional help if you need it.  
  10. Keep a journal and write your feelings down. You can get great relief from keeping a diary just like when you were a little girl. Remember? Get yourself a worry box. I have one! If I am worried about something and the worry won’t go away, I write it down and put it into my worry box. It’s easier for me to let it go that way. Try it!  
  11. Learn to practice deep relaxation. Take deep breaths. Do Yoga. Stretch. Pray the rosary. Knit. Crochet. Embroider. These are all good ways to manage stress.

And, Comadres, please, if you feel helpless or hopeless and all your ganas are gone, or if you have been crying or thinking sad thoughts for more than two weeks, please ask for professional help. Go to your comadre, a priest, a pastor or a nun. Seek the help of a counselor, social worker, doctor or nurse. Tell someone, but please don’t suffer alone.  If you ever think of harming yourself or others, call: 1-800-273-8255. En español: 1-800-628-9454

 

Sources:

Thornburg. https://www.ohsu.edu/xd/education/schools/school-of-medicine/departments/the-moore-institute/about/message-from-director.cfm

Torres. Nowson. Relationship between stress, eating behavior, and obesity. Nutrition. 2007 Nov-Dec;23(11-12):887-94. Epub

Harding, et al. Psychosocial stress is positively associated with body mass index gain over 5 years: evidence from the longitudinal AusDiab study.Obesity (Silver Spring). 2014 Jan;22(1):277-86. doi: 10.1002/oby.20423. Epub 2013 Jun 13.

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/stress/index.shtml

Epel ES, et al. Stress and body shape: stress-induced cortisol secretion is consistently greater among women with central fat. Psychosom Med 2000 Sep-Oct;62(5):623-32.

¡Hola, Guapa!, English, Healthy Body, Healthy Comadres

The Beauty Myth and Latinas: We’ve Come a Long Way

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I have been baffled by the beauty myth all of my life. I’ve thought of it from all sides, from the point of view of a young Mexican American girl growing up in the States under the shadow of a glamorous mother, to the rebellious assimilated Chicana that refused to wear high heels and make-up, to the mother who raised a dancer who had to navigate the minefield of the dancer’s body myth, to the  grandmother I am today. And I am still wondering when women will finally gain the respect we deserve without being judged by what our bodies looks like.

The Beauty Myth has been alive and well in our mainstream media for over a century and although we have come a long way, many of us are still suffering from its negative effects.

I came across a Lucky Strike cigarette advertising from 1930. This one reads,  “To keep a slender figure, no one can deny, reach for a Lucky instead of a sweet.”

The Beauty Myth was used for promoting cigarettes to women almost 100 years ago and continued well into the 1970s. We had this silly Virginia Slims cigarette campaign that “feminized” cigarettes by selling us the drivel that we “had come a long way.” Now we had our own cigarette designed to help us become thin and beautiful, and powerful.  (Now we could get lung cancer like everybody else, all while being feminine and slim. ¡Sobre todo delgada!)

The goal of the Beauty Myth hasn’t changed much. It is still the same as it was when they were selling us cigarettes. The Beauty Myth breaks you down so it can build you back up. First, it identifies the problem: you and your body. It makes you feel fat, inadequate and unattractive and then it provides a solution: the cigarettes, the fad diets, the shampoos, the rubber waistband to melt your belly fat, the magic supplements, or fill-in-the-blank.  

The Beauty Myth puts us at risk of self-loathing, and self-loathing is the gateway – el callejón de los eating disorders.

Some research suggests that Latinas have some protection against the negative effects of the Beauty Myth and its resulting body image distortion and eating disorders. In How to Become a Body Positive Super Mujer, we shared some findings from a study,  Brown Beauty: Body Image, Latinas, and the Media. The  authors of Brown Beauty suggest that being more closely identified with our culture and having the love and support of our friends and familias, may protect us from the negative effects of the Beauty Myth, but other studies suggest that Latinas are becoming more like our Northern European American sisters when it comes to body image and eating disorders.

Although the issue has been raised, and we are aware of the problem, time is overdue for Latinas to counter the effects of the Beauty Myth. And as we look inward, we want to make sure that we aren’t creating the Latina version of the Beauty Myth. Latina Magazine comes to mind. I have enjoyed my subscription to Latina Magazine over the years, and they have great content, but all you have to do is go online and look at a retrospect of their magazine covers and you would be hard-pressed to find Latinas that look like real, everyday Latinas. #realwomenhavecurves

As healthy Latinas, we don’t need to internalize the mainstream definition of beauty. We can come up with our own way of expressing our beauty, our femininity and our inner strength without replicating the Mainstream Beauty Myth.

At De Las Mías we are committed to preventing body loathing and disordered eating. And we are especially interested in creating a supportive and body positive culture for our jovencitas, our young hijas, sobrinas, nietas and ahijadas. We want them to look at us as their role models, mentors and madrinas. Now we can be their protective forces!

There is good work going on in the body positive camp, comadres, and body positivity movement is on the rise. It is an essential part of being our healthiest selves, and we encourage you to take part in it.

If you want to take a deeper dive into the Beauty Myth, read Naomi Wolf’s classic, The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women. Wolf explores how the Beauty Myth sells us billions of dollars worth of products to reverse the curse of not fitting into the box. It was first published in 1991 and updated in 2002, and it still remains relevant today.

Selena Gomez recently quoted Wolf’s book in response to being the target of body-shaming as told in this Shape article:

The beauty myth — an obsession with physical perfection that traps modern woman in an endless cycle of hopelessness, self-consciousness, and self-hatred as she tries to fulfill society’s impossible definition of flawless beauty.

Gomez stood up for herself by asserting, “I chose to take care of myself because I want to, not to prove anything to anyone.”

¡Eso, Girl!

But my favorite Latina fighting the good fight against the Beauty Myth is Rosie Molinary – author of Hijas Americanas: Beauty. Body Image and Growing Up Latina and Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance.

Molinary offers us clear-cut evidence that the Beauty Myth is messing with our Latina sensibilities, and at the same time, she provides us with inspiring content and tools that will help us find our   inner resources and support to stand up against it. Her books and blog are action-oriented and accessible to all, but her work is especially relevant to Latinas, like you, who are embarking on a journey to a healthier life.

Here’s an inspiring passage from Beautiful You. You’ll find it in the last paragraph of Day 6 in her book of 365 daily installments. It’s titled, “Ditch the Fat Chat.”  

Today. When a woman criticizes herself in front of you, don’t join in. Instead, celebrate what you love about her or tell her just how wrong she is. When you are inclined to begin your own body-bashing, stop yourself. We do ourselves and others a disservice when we allow these critiques to carry on.

Beautiful You, in its second edition, offers 365 nuggets of inspiration to help yourself and your comadres, sisters and friends on your journey to a healthier life. You can find out more about Rosie Molinary and her awesome work at http://rosiemolinary.com.

Finally, I follow several body positive super mujeres on Instagram. I love their body positive messages: @Palomija, @rivviera_clothing and @curvecrushin.

Do you want to support yourself and your comadres on this journey to a healthier life? Stop the body bashing — “ditch the fat chat.” Please share your body positive journey. Who inspires you? On social media? In real life? Share the love so we can spread the word.

¡Hola, Guapa!, Healthy Body, Spanish

Cómo manejé los Baby Blues

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Tener un bebé es una experiencia sumamente emocional, con muchos altos, y para algunas de nosotras, unos bajones bastante fuertes. Algunas dirían que es hasta estresante. Con todas esas hormonas que invaden nuestro cuerpo, a veces podemos llegar a sentir que no tenemos mucho control de nuestras emociones.

A principios de año nació mi hija. Es la primera, y como muchas mamás primerizas, pensé que sabía lo que me esperaba. Leí todos los blogs y libros y escuché todo tipo de podcasts, pero para lo único que no estaba preparada era para la montaña rusa de emociones. Es decir, no esperaba sentir los baby blues.

Inmediatamente después del parto empecé a sentir altibajos emocionales muy fuertes, estando en un momento furiosa y al siguiente en una apatía total. Somos muy chillones en mi familia. Además, yo soy de la idea de que es necesario echarse una buena lagrimeada de vez en cuando. Pero una semana después de la llegada de la bebé, lloraba todos los días. Estaba extremadamente abrumada y sentía grandes cambios emocionales: iba de 0 (normal) a 10 (ira/llanto) en cuestión de segundos. En medio de la noche, me preguntaba por qué la gente quería tener bebés, y me juraba a mí misma que no volvería a tener otro. Cuando llegó mi mamá con una olla de albóndigas y no me emocioné, supe que algo estaba mal.

Eso no era normal en mí. Sin embargo, a 80% de las mujeres les dan los baby blues y hasta 20% sufren de depresión posparto. (Los baby blues son sentir melancolía o tristeza por unas cuantas

semanas después de dar a luz, pero a veces puede ser depresión actual – a esta

condición se le llama depresión posparto. Es importante reconocer la

diferencia.)

Mi esposo lo describió como si me hubieran apagado las luces. El me ve como una mujer fuerte y centrada, que ha sabido sobrellevar las olas de la vida. Soy una persona fuerte y me adapto bien a los cambios de la vida. Pero en esas primeras semanas después del nacimiento de mi hija, no supe cómo lograr el equilibrio. No me reconocía.

Fue mi esposo quien me animó a buscar a mis amigas y compartirles cómo me sentía. Me alentó a llamar a mis amigas con hijos para hablar con alguien que entendería por lo que estaba pasando. Y eso me ayudó, pero ante la enorme magnitud que es la maternidad, me sentí completamente abrumada. No tardó mucho en sugerir que buscara ayuda y hablara con una terapeuta.

Encontré a una consejera familiar certificada y especializada en la transición a la maternidad. Mi primera sesión fue a las 5 semanas de haber parido y fue una liberación absoluta. Le compartí lo que estaba sintiendo, todas las emociones y las frustraciones, la culpa, la sensación de estar completamente abrumada. Al terminar la hora, sentí que me había quitado un gran peso de encima.

No se trató únicamente de hablar de mis sentimientos y experiencia lo que me ayudó. Me dio información específica y útil que me ayudó a entender por lo que estaba pasando. Me dijo que hay tres causas principales de los baby blues, aparte de los cambios hormonales y químicos:

  1. La privación del sueño
  2. La falta de actividad física
  3. El aislamiento social

Me dijo que si lograba abordar estas causas, me ayudaría considerablemente a manejar mis baby blues.

Privación de sueño

Esto es complicado para la mayoría de los padres. Algunos tienen la suerte de que les toquen bebés que duermen todo el tiempo. Para el resto de nosotros, son 20 minutos aquí y allá, y estar despiertos cada hora y media en la noche para comer. En general, los humanos necesitamos por lo menos 5 horas de sueño corrido para estar en forma. Y para la mayoría de las mamás primerizas, eso no pasa. El consejo común es dormir cuando duerme el bebé, lo cual es genial en teoría, pero en la práctica para mí fue casi imposible. Basta con decir que no hubo mucho que pude hacer al principio con respecto al sueño.

Falta de actividad física

Me hicieron cesárea así que no pude moverme mucho. Además, tuve un recién nacido cuando hacía frío afuera, y estaba súper nerviosa por los gérmenes las primeras 8 semanas. No fue hasta dos semanas después del parto que las matronas me dieron luz verde para sacar a los perros a caminar dos cuadras. Normalmente saco a los perros dos veces al día por 30 minutos, ¡así que mi primera caminata posparto por la cuadra estuvo increíble! No me importó que estuviera lloviendo. ¡Estaba afuera, en el mundo! Y esa pequeña caminata me animó muchísimo ese día.

A las 6 semanas posparto, me dieron de alta para volver a bailar y ¡ese fue un punto de inflexión! Me medí en mi primera clase. No bailé con todo. Pero esa hora de estar en mi cuerpo, me hizo volver a ser yo misma. Poco a poco volvimos a los paseos con los perros e iba a bailar cuando podía. Tomé una clase de yoga posparto increíble que me enseñó cómo endurecer mi centro y fortalecer el suelo pélvico.

Aislamiento Social

Esto fue lo más difícil para mí. Soy una persona sumamente social. No me di cuenta lo aislante que es tener un recién nacido. Mucha gente no sabía si o cuándo estaba bien buscarme o pasar a visitar. Pensaban que estaba muy ocupada o que no quería compañía. No podían estar más equivocados. Necesitaba tener gente a mi alrededor. Necesitaba hablar con amigos; saber qué pasaba fuera de mi casa.

Me di cuenta que necesitaba tomar las riendas. Busqué a mis amigas y les pedí que me acompañaran en mis paseos o que nos viéramos para tomar un café. Les decía que no me molestaba en lo absoluto que me textearan o llamaran de manera espontánea.

También les compartí a mis amigas lo que viví con los baby blues. Les dije que necesitaba su apoyo y lo que podían hacer para ayudarme.

Ahora que mi hija es más grande, duerme 6 horas cada noche; ¡nunca me imaginé lo emocionada que me haría dormir 5 horas corriditas! Regresé a mis clases de baile y empiezo a sentir que recupero mi fuerza, pero ha sido difícil. Todavía no vuelvo a ser la misma de antes de embarazarme, y está bien. Decidí ser generosa conmigo misma. Tal vez me tome un año o un poco más para que me vuelva a sentir igual de fuerte, flexible y tener la resistencia física que tenía antes del embarazo. El aislamiento social es algo que todavía tengo que superar. Somos los primeros de nuestro círculo de amigos en tener un hijo, así que todos estamos tratando de entender lo que significa. Y me di cuenta que tengo que cuidarme y pedir lo que necesito, por lo cual debo de ser más proactiva y juntarme con mis amigos.

Espero que mi experiencia ayude a otras mamás. Es importante cuidarnos para poder ser mejores madres. Y es importante ser generosas con nosotras mismas. He aprendido a no ser tan dura conmigo misma, a fomentar la aceptación, ser más paciente, encontrarle el lado chistoso al asunto y pedir ayuda cuando la necesito.

NOTA: Si crees que padeces de baby blues o depresión posparto, habla con tu doctor. Este blog simplemente sirve para concientizarnos y compartir lo que me funcionó en mi situación específica. Cada situación es diferente. Habla con tu doctor y él/ella te puede proporcionar los recursos para ayudarte.

 

Healthy Body

How I Managed the Baby Blues

manton

 

Having a baby is a highly emotional experience with lots of highs and for some of us some significant lows. Some would even say it’s stressful. With all those hormones coursing through your body it can feel like you don’t have much control over your emotions.

Earlier this year my daughter was born. She’s our first child and like so many new moms I thought I knew what to expect. I’d read all the blogs and books, and listened to all kinds of podcasts, but the one thing I wasn’t prepared for was the emotional rollercoaster. And more specifically I didn’t expect to experience baby blues.

From the days immediately following her birth, I experienced big emotional swings, from being enraged to complete apathy. Somos muy chillones en mi familia. And besides I believe you need a good cry every once in a while. But in the weeks after the baby arrived crying became a daily occurance. I was extremely overwhelmed and experienced huge mood swings–I’d go from 0 (normal) to 10 (rage/weeping) in a matter of seconds. In the middle of the night I’d wonder why anyone would ever have a baby and swear I never wanted to have another. When my mom showed up with a pot of albóndigas and I didn’t get excited, I knew something was wrong.


This was not normal for me. However, up to 80% of women get baby blues and as many as 20% suffer from postpartum depression.

My husband described me as going dark. He knew me as this strong, grounded, rational woman who knew how to ride life’s waves. I’m a resilient person. But in those first several weeks after my daughter was born, I didn’t know how to summon that resilience. I didn’t feel like myself.

It was my husband who encouraged me to reach out to my friends and share how I was feeling. He pushed me to call my friends with kids so I could talk to someone who would understand what I was going through. And that helped, but in those moments, in the throws of motherhood I felt completely overwhelmed. It didn’t take him long to suggest that I get some help and talk to a therapist.

I found a certified family counselor who specializes in transition to motherhood. My first session was at 5 weeks postpartum and it was an amazing release. I shared what I was feeling, all the emotions and frustration, the guilt, the complete sense of being overwhelmed. And at the end of the hour, I felt a great weight was lifted.

It wasn’t just talking about my feelings and experience that helped. She gave me concrete and useful information that helped make sense of what was happening. She told me there are three primary drivers of baby blues, and this goes for postpartum depression too (besides the hormonal and chemical changes):

  1. Sleep deprivation
  2. Lack of physical activity
  3. Social isolation

She told me if I could address these drivers, it would significantly help me manage my baby blues.

Sleep deprivation

This is a tough one for most parents. Some parents luck out and get those babies that sleep all the time. For the rest of us, it’s 20 minutes here and there and up every hour and half at night to eat. Generally speaking, we humans need at least 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep to be our optimal selves. And for most new moms that’s not happening. The common advice to sleep when the baby sleeps is great in theory, but in practice I found it nearly impossible. So suffice to say there wasn’t much I was able to do early on about sleep.

Lack of physical activity

I had a c-section so by necessity I couldn’t move much at all. On top of that, I had a newborn and it was cold out and I was super paranoid about germs the first 8 weeks. It wasn’t until two weeks postpartum that the midwives gave me the green light to take the dogs for a two-block walk. Normally we take the dogs for two 30-minute walks a day, so my first postpartum walk around the block was amazing! I didn’t care that it was raining. I was out in the world! And that short outing did wonders for my mood that day.

At six weeks postpartum I got the okay to go back to dance and that was a game changer! I took it easy during my first class back. I didn’t go all out. But that one hour of being in my body made me feel like me again. Slowly but surely we got back into our regular walks and I went to dance whenever I could. I took an awesome postpartum yoga class which taught me how to re-engage my core and strengthen my pelvic floor.

Social isolation

This was the biggest one for me. I’m a very social person. I didn’t realize how isolating having a newborn would be. Many people didn’t know if/when it was okay to reach out or come over. They thought I was too busy or didn’t want company. Nothing could be further from the truth. I needed people around. I needed to check in with friends. I needed to know what was going on outside my house.

I realized I needed to be proactive. I reached out to friends and asked them to join me on walks or meet for coffee. I let them know they wouldn’t be bothering me if they texted or called on a whim.

I also shared with my friends what I had experienced with the baby blues. I let them know I needed their support and what they could do to help.

Now that my daughter is older she’s sleeping up to 6 hours a night, which I never knew I’d be so excited about 5+ hours of sleep! I’m back at dance and starting to feel my strength back, but it’s a journey. I’m not back to my pre-pregnancy self, and that’s okay. I decided to be kind with myself. It might take a year or longer for me to feel as strong, flexible and have the stamina I had before pregnancy. The social isolation is still something I have to work on. We’re the first ones in our circle of friends to have a child and so everyone is still figuring out what that means. And I realized I have to take care of me and speak up about what I need, which means being proactive about getting together with friends.

I hope my experience helps other moms. It’s important we take care of ourselves so we can be the best parents. And it’s also important we be kind with ourselves. I’ve learned to be easier on myself, foster acceptance, be more patient, find the humor and ask for help when I need it.

NOTE: If you’re experiencing what you think might be baby blues or postpartum depression, please speak with your healthcare provider. This blog is simply meant to bring awareness and share what worked for me in my situation. Every situation is different. Please speak with your healthcare provider and they can provide you with resources to help.

 

¡Hola, Guapa!, Edición No. 5: Stress, English, Healthy Body

How I Managed the Baby Blues

shared

 

Having a baby is a highly emotional experience with lots of highs and for some of us some significant lows. Some would even say it’s stressful. With all those hormones coursing through your body it can feel like you don’t have much control over your emotions.

Earlier this year my daughter was born. She’s our first child and like so many new moms I thought I knew what to expect. I’d read all the blogs and books, and listened to all kinds of podcasts, but the one thing I wasn’t prepared for was the emotional rollercoaster. And more specifically I didn’t expect to experience baby blues.

From the days immediately following her birth, I experienced big emotional swings, from being enraged to complete apathy. Somos muy chillones en mi familia. And besides I believe you need a good cry every once in a while. But in the weeks after the baby arrived crying became a daily occurance. I was extremely overwhelmed and experienced huge mood swings–I’d go from 0 (normal) to 10 (rage/weeping) in a matter of seconds. In the middle of the night I’d wonder why anyone would ever have a baby and swear I never wanted to have another. When my mom showed up with a pot of albóndigas and I didn’t get excited, I knew something was wrong.


This was not normal for me. However, up to 80% of women get baby blues and as many as 20% suffer from postpartum depression.

My husband described me as going dark. He knew me as this strong, grounded, rational woman who knew how to ride life’s waves. I’m a resilient person. But in those first several weeks after my daughter was born, I didn’t know how to summon that resilience. I didn’t feel like myself.

It was my husband who encouraged me to reach out to my friends and share how I was feeling. He pushed me to call my friends with kids so I could talk to someone who would understand what I was going through. And that helped, but in those moments, in the throws of motherhood I felt completely overwhelmed. It didn’t take him long to suggest that I get some help and talk to a therapist.

I found a certified family counselor who specializes in transition to motherhood. My first session was at 5 weeks postpartum and it was an amazing release. I shared what I was feeling, all the emotions and frustration, the guilt, the complete sense of being overwhelmed. And at the end of the hour, I felt a great weight was lifted.

It wasn’t just talking about my feelings and experience that helped. She gave me concrete and useful information that helped make sense of what was happening. She told me there are three primary drivers of baby blues, and this goes for postpartum depression too (besides the hormonal and chemical changes):

  1. Sleep deprivation
  2. Lack of physical activity
  3. Social isolation

She told me if I could address these drivers, it would significantly help me manage my baby blues.

Sleep deprivation

This is a tough one for most parents. Some parents luck out and get those babies that sleep all the time. For the rest of us, it’s 20 minutes here and there and up every hour and half at night to eat. Generally speaking, we humans need at least 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep to be our optimal selves. And for most new moms that’s not happening. The common advice to sleep when the baby sleeps is great in theory, but in practice I found it nearly impossible. So suffice to say there wasn’t much I was able to do early on about sleep.

Lack of physical activity

I had a c-section so by necessity I couldn’t move much at all. On top of that, I had a newborn and it was cold out and I was super paranoid about germs the first 8 weeks. It wasn’t until two weeks postpartum that the midwives gave me the green light to take the dogs for a two-block walk. Normally we take the dogs for two 30-minute walks a day, so my first postpartum walk around the block was amazing! I didn’t care that it was raining. I was out in the world! And that short outing did wonders for my mood that day.

At six weeks postpartum I got the okay to go back to dance and that was a game changer! I took it easy during my first class back. I didn’t go all out. But that one hour of being in my body made me feel like me again. Slowly but surely we got back into our regular walks and I went to dance whenever I could. I took an awesome postpartum yoga class which taught me how to re-engage my core and strengthen my pelvic floor.

Social isolation

This was the biggest one for me. I’m a very social person. I didn’t realize how isolating having a newborn would be. Many people didn’t know if/when it was okay to reach out or come over. They thought I was too busy or didn’t want company. Nothing could be further from the truth. I needed people around. I needed to check in with friends. I needed to know what was going on outside my house.

I realized I needed to be proactive. I reached out to friends and asked them to join me on walks or meet for coffee. I let them know they wouldn’t be bothering me if they texted or called on a whim.

I also shared with my friends what I had experienced with the baby blues. I let them know I needed their support and what they could do to help.

Now that my daughter is older she’s sleeping up to 6 hours a night, which I never knew I’d be so excited about 5+ hours of sleep! I’m back at dance and starting to feel my strength back, but it’s a journey. I’m not back to my pre-pregnancy self, and that’s okay. I decided to be kind with myself. It might take a year or longer for me to feel as strong, flexible and have the stamina I had before pregnancy. The social isolation is still something I have to work on. We’re the first ones in our circle of friends to have a child and so everyone is still figuring out what that means. And I realized I have to take care of me and speak up about what I need, which means being proactive about getting together with friends.

I hope my experience helps other moms. It’s important we take care of ourselves so we can be the best parents. And it’s also important we be kind with ourselves. I’ve learned to be easier on myself, foster acceptance, be more patient, find the humor and ask for help when I need it.

NOTE: If you’re experiencing what you think might be baby blues or postpartum depression, please speak with your healthcare provider. This blog is simply meant to bring awareness and share what worked for me in my situation. Every situation is different. Please speak with your healthcare provider and they can provide you with resources to help.